Day Twenty-Nine: The Person That You Want Tell Everything To, But Too Afraid To

You said I could trust you with everything, including my life
I was skeptical, and asked that you act the role and make me
For I’ve always been one to believe that trust should be earned
Not offered on a platter of sweet words that may turn sour
You played the role and turned out deserving of my confidence
I warmed up to you and opened up with little reservation
You neither judged, nor patronised, making sure to set me straight
And make me understand the fallibility of my human nature
While teaching me to take responsibility for my mistakes.

You’ve always been in the background, never wanting to be seen
I learnt to run to you when things weren’t working as planned
For I was sure of a solution or, at the least, a few encouraging words
I would come and go as I pleased; only when I needed you too
Sometimes you seemed distant and I knew to stay away
Most times, I felt I was being a burden and hid from you
But you always brought me back to your light, taking me back in
And reminding me that with you, there are no limits.

Now, I look at my image in the mirror and feel I’ve grown
I listen to my speech and gauge my actions and notice the change
I haven’t come to you for a long while now
Choosing to fight my battles alone and taking my own advice
Most times, I miss you and wish I could have your reassurance
Other times, I find solace in thoughts of my growth making you proud
Isn’t it the wish of every mentor that their mentee surpasses them
I’m far from that stage, and still see a long road ahead
Coming back to you would be much easier than reaching that pedestal.

A lot has happened; a lot more is going to happen
A part of me is sure I can handle it, falling back on your past guidance
But some things are best sorted out when shared with a trusted one
That sharing which I had gotten accustomed to and now miss
When I reach out to you now, it is more to talk about you than me
You try hard to remind me that there still are no limits
But I find myself holding back, even when I want to pour it all out
Today, for no fault of yours, I am afraid of being judged
I am scared of trashing your expectations and beliefs
I have a lot to say… to pour out unto you lap and into your ears
But I hold back… for I am afraid of your reaction.

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