Day Eighteen: The person that you wish you could be

Hi,

It’s going to be difficult to get this letter to you because the Moroccan Postal Services  do not deliver to your address: my mind. That is where you exist and for years, I’ve hoped to see you change your abode and join us in this world. I’ve been told that no man is perfect and that perfection belongs to God. I also read that God created man in his image and so I wondered how that attribute of perfection missed the route. In my own little world, I felt I could create the perfect person. I knew I could never breathe life into its being, but I could always have it up there in my head… someone I could look up to in my journey towards perfection. Don’t write me off as stubborn just yet. It’s just a journey, for I believe we can only achieve what we truly believe in.

Physically, we are quite identical and I have not made much alterations to your appearance. You are more daring though. Where I would usually be shy to venture out into the world and make new acquaintances, you would go all out, exuding a pleasant aura and connecting with great people. When opportunity turns up at your doorstep, you don’t even wait for it to knock. You grab it right there and make the best use of it. You’ve always known what you wanted to be and have worked hard towards achieving it. Many young people are faced with different choices as they grow, switching into all career fields, before finally settling for one. This might even end up being the wrong one, but sometimes, it’s too late. You, however, were saved from this dilemma by your level-headed nature and focused spirit. You faced opposition for your choices, but surfaced victorious, making it clear that it was your future and the final say had to be yours. You probably hurt the feelings of your loved ones, but each day, you work hard to show that you will succeed and remove their doubts.

Deep inside, you fight your own battles. You struggle like everyone else… like me. However, you never hesitate to express your real feelings. That facade of a happy life doesn’t work with you, for you believe in being real. Sometimes, you come off as hard. Other times, you are an emotional wreck. You do not put it all out there, but it gets people to understand that you are not all iron and steel. You hurt sometimes and are not scared to show it. Around you, people keep worrying… some about huge issues; others not. They come to you for solutions and you offer them when you can. You show that you care again, but you don’t let yourself get drowned into that pool of worry for things beyond your control. You do what you can and well, leave the rest for God.

You are reliable and procrastination is foreign to you. You hate working under pressure and never put off work to the last minute. When things flop, you’re there to save the day, superwoman style.  You never hesitate in asking for help too. I mean, you are efficient to a fault, but you sometimes need a hand and are glad when one is offered. You are quick to share credit for your achievements,for you’ve been guided all the way. You stay in touch with your loved ones and make sure communication is at its best among you. If anything, you’re the bond that holds them all together. When thoughts of someone come to you and you feel the need to reach out, you do it right there, never waiting for the next moment. You were taught to never leave for tomorrow that which you can do today,and you lived by this mantra. Perfect smiles, trustworthy, patient, kind, humble, loyal, respectful with unwavering faith in God… those are just a few of your qualities. If that isn’t perfection, it certainly isn’t too far away.

In another world, I would take all that and make it a part of my being. Then I would turn around and declare myself perfect. However, I realise that these are all qualities that people achieve when they work on them. I look deep inside and recognise my imperfections and my shortcomings. To many people I have met, they are quite few, for I hardly show them. To me, they are many and sometimes get the better of me, taking me a few steps back in my journey. Despite all this, I am sure of one thing. They are what make me who I really am and I do not wish to alter my personality to fit the frame of perfection. You stay in my mind, where I’ll continue to polish, cover you with gloss and admire you. When I go out of the door again, I shall remain me, for it is all I want to be.