Day Twelve: The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Hi,

There’s no reason to keep this long, because I really can’t find the right words for you. Deep down, I know that words would be insufficient to transmit my true feelings, so I shall not even attempt to go that route.

You know what you did. I know what you did. It’s probably been our little secret and has been kept ‘sacred’ for many years. When I could no longer keep it in, I shared with one whom I trusted and was relieved of the load in my chest, even if temporarily. I’m guessing you haven’t shared it with anyone, as it would ruin your great reputation. I have helped you save face for so long, but something tells me I won’t be keeping on to that for much longer.

When I look at you, I see remorse, but that can never repair the damage you have already done. You seemed contented while it lasted and left me with the scars and the memories. They still live with me and have affected me in so many ways. I shall only thank you for one of them: the strength it has brought me. You acted on your own will, and now I am forced to show that I am much more than the product of your actions. Some would say you were young and did not know what you were doing. Well, we can’t cry over spilt milk now.

My only hope is that none else suffers the same treatment, for not everyone can come out of it whole. I thank God for having reconciled me with my fate and pray that he protects the rest. You hurt me and made me know pain like no other, but I do not hate you. My heart was made to love, and I have been on that journey since birth. They say it is noble to forgive and forget. Well, the ax forgets,but the tree doesn’t.

I shall never forget, for the imprints are permanent and each day brings a new reminder. However, I have resolved to forgive you, no matter how long it takes to get there. If not for anything, I’ll do it because we both are human.

 

P.S The piece is inspired by stories on http://speakup.gm/ and dedicated to the Group of Gambians Against Rape and Molestation (GARM). Look out for us on Facebook and Twitter too!

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